Disability Myths (Part II): Happy 35th to the ADA, Actually

Last week, I got the Americans with Disabilities Act’s birthday party (7/26) started by giving you eighteen myths about disability. It’s time for the second installment. (Thanks to friends for their suggestions!)

1. People with disabilities don’t or can’t have sex. That’s news to many people who have been having sex, maybe more sex than non-disabled people. I’m not a sexpert, so please don’t send me strange consulting requests, but look at this great video series.
2. Wheelchair users can’t walk. Behold, some of us are ambulatory wheelchair users. Think about mobility aids as tools for different days. Do you wear different shoes to a wedding versus surfing? I hope you do unless your destination wedding was hanging 10. Not all wheelchair users can walk, but just because a wheelchair user walks, doesn’t mean they are faking it.
3. The best way to communicate with a disabled person is to speak to their companion. You might not know how to manage a situation, including how to interact with an ASL interpreter, for example. You should always direct your questions and attention to the disabled or Deaf person. Similarly, disabled people have an “allies problem” (see Crutches & Spice’s article) when it comes to non-disabled people leading the conversation about disability.
4. All disabilities are visible or apparent. People often aren’t comfortable being “out” about their disabilities because they either “don’t feel disabled enough” or “don’t look disabled.” Most disabilities are not apparent. Therefore, we come to believe that there aren’t that many disabled people around us. Disability can be anything from long COVID to cancer, ADHD to mast cell disorders, diabetes to memory loss. Just because you can’t see it or don’t know what it is, does not make it any less real.
5. Some disabilities are real and others are more like excuses. Consider how we under-diagnosed girls’ experiences of ADHD because they “didn’t act up like boys.” Similarly, you can’t wish yourself out of depression. Just because your neighbor has a family, doesn’t mean they couldn’t be autistic. Chronic pain is real. Migraines suck. Anxiety is a jerk that wants to save us from bears and also makes us doubt ourselves. And no, people just don’t grow out of learning disabilities like they outgrow their t-shirts from childhood.
6. If an organization has a diagnosis in their title, they must be legit (I.e., the experts, representing community). Disability isn’t a monolithic experience. Not all autistic people agree with Autism Speaks, for example. Special Olympics makes some people cringe. Not all d/Deaf people would choose to get a cochlear implant. Just because one person does something– or their family member– doesn’t mean that’s the official word. A lot of organizations are also funded by interests that would want to fix, save, or end disability, which isn’t what everyone wants.
7. All “disability” organizations are led by people with disabilities. Sadly, it seems rare that disabled people lead the causes and organizations that are supposed to be about their rights and inclusion. Most leadership positions are occupied by parents, medical specialists, siblings, or “experts” about disability that don’t identify as having disabilities. I’m excited about efforts such as Disability Lead, Sins Invalid, Disability EmpowHer Network, and New Disabled South which change that dynamic.
8. Most disabled folks are White. A few years ago, the #DisabilityTooWhite hashtag made the rounds, which was an important call to action for recognizing that not only is the leadership of the “disability movement” too White, but also that there has been a whitewashing of disability history and culture. Disabled people exist in all communities and identities. WHO recognizes that disability can be caused by poverty, poor prenatal care, environmental racism, stress, and discrimination. Black people, for example, are more likely than White people to have a disabling medical condition.
9. All disabled people know each other. Oh, wait– this one might be true. We get asked that a lot. Contrary to popular perspectives, it’s pretty difficult to know 20-25% of the world by name. According to a recent marketing study, more than 63% of people have a family member or close friend with a disability.
10. People with disabilities, no matter what the disability, are experts/my best consultants for all kinds of disabilities. No one wakes up knowing about all disabilities. When I bought a cane, did it come with an implant for updating your inaccessible website? When we meet someone with a disability who says they’re “special” or “have super powers”, has a community spoken? When we hire a consultant who doesn’t sign but claims to represent Deaf people, have we gotten a full picture of what Deafness means? You should always have disabled people involved in improving your organizational approaches to disability and accessibility, but be an informed consumer. Shortcuts get you crappy overlays, slides from the ’90s, inspirational speeches about wellness, and side-eyes.
11. Disability means inability. At the root of many ableist responses is the idea that disability means we’re going to overlook the fact that someone can’t do anything– or the things they can do contribute very little. Disability is a different way of operating in the world, not being devoid of value or skill. Disabled people shouldn’t be expected to overcome or overcompensate for their impairments.
12. Disabled employees miss a lot of work. Just because someone has a disability, does not mean they will be any less reliable in attendance than their non-disabled peers.
13. Disabled people are burdens to their families. There have been many studies about how having a younger disabled child ruins a mother’s life and health. (I’m not kidding and that’s why we need more disabled academics.) That narrative misses the fact that ableism and poverty can “burden” a family. When socioeconomic status was controlled for in a recent study, a child’s disability had no significant negative health impact on its mother.
14. For the last five myths (14-18), I’m going to cheat on my self-assigned homework by referring you to this excellent poster set about myths that Washington students with disabilities made. I had so much fun facilitating their youth codesign work this year. Paper your neighborhood with their stuff!

Remember, “Justice, Actually” is a blog from a lawyer, but it is not legal advice or an attorney-client relationship. Lawyers have lots of opinions. Some lawyers, like me, have an ironic “special” shirt for the ADA’s birthday.